Notes From the Underground

"Each man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls,
it tolls for thee." – John Donne

Before we get into the thoughts behind this famous quote, and the title of my favorite Hemingway novel, a personal note on a national phenomenon.

I have a new yard guy.

I know, that is not earth-shattering. Before you jump to conclusions about my laziness in not mowing my own lawn, let me explain.

I still work in broadcast news, but in a town that is an hour and a half away from my little town. That means 3 hours of driving a day. My old house (built in 1875) sits on a couple of acres. I write these moronic musings every Sunday, so my only real day off is Saturday. Do I want to spend every one of them mowing? Frankly, no.

The lady we bought the house from had a yard guy named Morales, who dutifully did the landscaping to perfection for what is a pretty reasonable price. He is active in his church, even doing some lay preaching. He has a lovely wife I have met and a son beginning high school. I met the boy when they came over to make an offer on the old Jeep I was selling.

I talked him out of it, but it didn't hurt the friendship. His English was serviceable, and he was a sharp businessman with a good little landscaping company. He called me "Mr. Roller" and even spelled it that way. I told him to call me Rogelio, but he insisted on Mr. Roller.

And then after 3 years, he stopped showing up. I texted, and it took another week to get an answer. He asked for another week's grace, and would it be possible to pay in cash instead of a check from now on.

My wife said he may not want to use the bank for now, and she was right. I knew what was happening. It's the same reason restaurant employees, nurses, and farm workers are not showing up, and their kids are skipping school. It's this guy...

Yeah, Homan. Fun Fact: He was the model for the original Mr. Potato Head.

When Mr. Morales still didn't show and didn't answer any more texts, I wished him good luck and looked for another guy. I found Mr. Cruz, and I'm going to ask him if I can call him Ted so I can tell people Ted Cruz cuts my grass.

But it's guys like this who are getting swept up in this insanity. He isn't a danger, but an asset. Some Ford dealer is happy because he drives a nice new F-150. He owns a house, and his kid is in school. He came to live this dream and was making it happen through hard work, and now he feels like a fugitive.

Did he cross illegally? No doubt, but most people don't know that it is a civil charge, essentially a misdemeanor, not a felony. Do I want bad guys locked up? Of course, everyone does, no matter where they came from. But this guy? Is our country better with him gone? Of course not. For all you Charlie Kirk fans, let me quote..."prove me wrong."

Speaking of which, I spent part of my Saturday thinking about free speech. When we moved to Amarillo a few years ago, when I was hired as a TV News Director, we bought a cool house on the edge of Palo Duro Canyon. The owner made me a housewarming gift of several Havana cigars he had kept for a while. I smoked one yesterday in honor of all those seditious communist revolutionaries on late night TV.

By the way, I found out a couple of things. Old, dry cigars, even Havanas, are hard to smoke. And I realized yet again, I'm not a cigar guy.

But this week's contretemps over Jimmy Kimmel requires a little explanation. First of all, the FCC Chairman Brendan Carr sounded like Don Corleone when he told ABC, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way," after Kimmel repeated what was a pretty common internet rumor (which even some good friends bought into) that the killer of Charlie Kirk was somehow an extreme-extreme right winger for whom Kirk was not sufficiently to the right.

Even my new lawn guy Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Cancun) thought that was over the top.

For those that don't know, including apparently the President, the FCC doesn't license TV networks. It licenses individual TV and radio stations to serve the "public interest." That used to be determined by what were called "ascertainment hearings." That is where representatives of each local station sat as a panel and listened to representatives of various community groups explain what they thought the big issues were.

Over the years I have drawn the short straw and had to spend my day on those panels a few times. That process was eliminated in 1984, but we all still live in fear of someone making a formal FCC complaint if one of your people accidentally swore on air or something.

There even used to be an "equal time rule" wherein if you had someone on one side of a thorny issue, or a candidate from one party, you needed the other guy on as well, or someone could file an FCC complaint. Now, you just have to make time available to the other candidate if they ask. And as for issues? Well, I offer Fox, MSNBC, and all of commercial talk radio. Obviously, you do not have to air the other side of a controversial issue; in fact, if you do, you are somehow a RINO or DINO (I guess) who is too wishy-washy to garner an audience.

But maybe not.

Interestingly enough, in a top 10 conservative radio market in this country, Dallas/Fort Worth, the audience for news talk programming on National Public Radio is twice the size of the commercial talkers with Hannity, Beck and so forth. Even nationally, the news/talk audience rankings are thus...

1 - The Dave Ramsey Show - commercial - finance

2 - Marketplace - NPR - finance

3 - All Things Considered - NPR - news

4 - Sean Hannity - commercial - conservative talk

5 - Morning Edition - NPR - news

So, when the FCC decides to identify speech that is not really obscene or inciting violence as just too far out there and worthy of censure, one has to wonder why.

Well, actually, one doesn't. We know why, and the ensuing deification of an activist and podcaster whose opinions pleased those who even knew who he was, and appalled others, tells us all we need to know.

As to his violent and outrageous murder, I refer you to the John Donne quote at the top of this piece. Anyone who disagreed with Charlie Kirk was free to take him on. I would have loved it, frankly. That's how we do it, or how we are supposed to.

But this has become a dangerous place to take an outrageous stand on anything. You can say what you want, be it racist, anti-semitic, socialist, or fascist, it is all protected. You cannot willingly start a riot, or at least you're not supposed to (looking at you January 6th). But short of that, you can run your mouth without fear of the law, but not your employer.

And that's what happened here. CBS fired Steven Colbert, not for the stated reasons, but because they were negotiating a sale of the company, and the FCC had to approve that sale. In another case of "We can do this the easy way or the hard way" CBS acceded to Donald Trump's meritless lawsuit over a nothing edit on 60 Minutes, paid him his bribe money, fired Colbert, and got their deal approved.

In the case of ABC, the company that owns 32 of its affiliates, Nexstar Broadcasting is negotiating to buy another big ownership group, Tegna, and again, the FCC must approve. After Carr's mobster comment, Kimmel was toast. Again, it's about commerce, which is also the American way. And it's perfectly legal, if a bit spineless.

But to quote another mob saying, "It's just business, not personal."

An avowedly conservative broadcast group, Sinclair, for whom I sadly worked in Amarillo, decided they would weigh in as well since Nexstar was having all the fun. I'll tell you about their reputation in the industry. When an old friend from Houston called me to see if I was interested in the job, I told him it sounded pretty good. I then asked who he worked for. There was an awkward pause and then he said, "Sinclair... OK, OK, I know what you've heard."

Well, what I heard turned out to be right, but now, after all that public bluster, Sinclair has decided that airing a Charlie Kirk Special last Friday in place of Kimmel was not the best move, and quietly, simply put it online and not on the air. Discretion is the better part of valor, I guess.

Oh, and for the record, among the late-night hosts that air at 10:30 CT, Kimmel was second only to Colbert in ratings.

Now, to be fair, no President likes to be made fun of, or to be criticized. A lot of folks have posted a quote from Lyndon Johnson about satire.

Let's not forget, though, that LBJ called Frank Stanton of CBS to get Morley Safer fired for his Vietnam coverage. We can get too self-righteous and selective when looking back.

But now, Attorney General Bondi has been assigned by Don Vito to root out all his enemies in the press and bring down the hammer. This is the logical outcome of this week's performance art, and who knows where it will end?

And, while the administration is spending time with this unconstitutional nonsense, we have quietly stopped selling weapons to our European allies, essentially turned our backs on Ukraine, refused to hold Putin responsible for his actions (to no one's surprise), and plan to send more troops into American cities. Well, only those with Democratic mayors, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.

The job market is drying up, inflation is increasing, and Washington is lying about it, but, hey, the President got a carriage ride around a castle. The week wasn't a total loss.

I'm just glad my yard is cut again. Thanks, Ted.