The Outrage Du Jour

America, and by America I mean real America, is up in arms, and who can blame them? A venerable restaurant chain, born in the South, is changing. And by changing, I mean, going "woke." Oh, you say, what is woke about it? Well, sit right back and hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started...Wait, wrong story.

OK, how about this: you take a logo that everyone knows, that is long associated with your restaurant, and get this, you change it. I know, it's like graffiti on Mt. Rushmore. Then, you decide to change the shade of wood inside and clean up a cluttered dining area.

Then, you add a couple of new menu items to go with the old standbys and all hell breaks loose on Fox TV and talk radio. I'm talking, of course, about a brand born right here in Texas, Chili's. Just look at what these Bolsheviks have done over the years...

And here's a kicker. You can't order chili there anymore. And of course, business has plummeted...oh, wait. I'm being told by the control room that business was plummeting, and now is booming. Never mind.

OK, like the world's clumsiest magician, this was a bit of misdirection. The real conservative cause de celebre is Cracker Barrel restaurants, and the unforgiveable act of removing the old guy leaning on a barrel...

If you are in charge of a big enterprise, and that enterprise is now struggling in relation to your competitors, what do you do? Young people are not patronizing your restaurant and sales are going down. Here is what Cracker Barrel was facing...

• Cracker Barrel's business was dwindling prior to the recent logo change
• Signs of Business Trouble?
  • Flatlining Sales and Revenue:.Revenue for the most recent quarter was unchanged compared to the previous year, indicating stagnant growth. 
  • Declining Stock Value:.The company's stock tumbled significantly in 2024 and continued to fall in 2025 after the rebranding efforts became public. 
  • Loss of Market Share:.The CEO admitted that Cracker Barrel had lost market share, particularly at dinner, and is not leading in any key areas compared to its competitors. 
  • Brand Inactivity:.The CEO stated that the brand needed a "transformation" because it had "lost some of its shine" and needed to remain relevant to its current and potential customer base. 
  • Customer Dissatisfaction:.Yelp reviews indicate widespread dissatisfaction, with a low average rating suggesting most customers are unhappy. 

And its core customer base was all sitting in God's waiting room for a table. No Gen Z'er would ever be heard to say, "Hey, babe. Let's head over to Cracker Barrel for some sweet potato pie and that pegboard game."

So, like Chili's, Dunkin' Donuts, Baskin Robbins, Taco Bell, Instagram, Facebook and Guinness, among others, a branding refresh was the next logical move. And, most of the outraged MAGA folks are probably not aware that when the company started in 1969, the logo was only in script, like now. The little old guy came along in 1977.

And, frankly, I'm still trying to figure out the "woke" part. While the term has become so overused to mean pretty much anything I don't like, it does imply some sort of liberal influence. What exactly is liberal about this? Oh, maybe the menu, eh? Probably some new offerings like arugula salad and chai tea or some such. Well, let me bore you with the new items on the menu, courtesy of Newsweek...

Breakfast

• Uncle Herschel's Favorite—Back by popular demand, this beloved fan favorite includes two eggs cooked to order with your choice of Sugar Cured Ham, Country Ham, Grilled or Fried Catfish Fillet, Crispy Tender Dippers or—for the first time ever—a premium New York Strip Steak available for an upgrade, served with Hashbrown Casserole or Fried Apples, Buttermilk Biscuits, Sawmill Gravy and Grits.
• Sausage & Egg Hashbrown Casserole—A double portion of our signature Hashbrown Casserole is layered with Colby cheese, served over Sawmill Gravy with scrambled eggs and a flavorful blend of crumbled smoked sausage, onions, red peppers and green chilies, topped with crispy fried onions, diced tomatoes, and green onions, with a side of Buttermilk Biscuits.
• Bacon & Egg Hashbrown Casserole—Scratch-made Hashbrown Casserole hot off the grill is layered with pieces of crispy bacon, farm-fresh scrambled eggs, melted Colby cheese, fried onions, diced tomatoes and green onions, with Buttermilk Biscuits on the side.
• Butter Pecan French Toast Bake—Thick-cut country bread is soaked in vanilla custard, topped with cheesecake filling, baked 'til golden, with your choice of bacon or sausage. Praline pecan streusel and butter pecan syrup available as an upgrade.

Lunch and Dinner

• Herb Roasted Chicken—A half chicken, seasoned and slow-roasted in the oven until golden, crispy perfection and topped with a lemon herb butter sauce. Served with mashed potatoes, choice of classic side and Buttermilk Biscuits or Corn Muffins.
• Hashbrown Casserole Shepherd's Pie—Slow-braised pot roast and gravy with carrots, peas, onions, celery and mashed potatoes, topped with a crispy griddled Hashbrown Casserole crust, sour cream, diced tomatoes and green onions, and hand-rolled Buttermilk Biscuits on the side.
• Slow-Braised Pot Roast—A family classic featuring slow-roasted rib roast, carrots, onions and celery in a savory, homestyle gravy with mashed potatoes, choice of classic side and Buttermilk Biscuits or Corn Muffins.

Sips and Sweets

• Butter Pecan Sticky Buns—Warm, tender sweet dough in our butter pecan sauce and baked with a gooey praline pecan topping.
• Cinnamon Roll Skillet—Freshly baked mini cinnamon rolls with a gooey cinnamon filling and topped with cream cheese icing.
• Brown Sugar Latte—A seasonal take on the classic latte with sweet brown sugar sauce, espresso and steamed milk, topped with whipped cream and drizzled with butter pecan syrup (served hot or cold).
• Wild Berry Tea—A blend of freshly brewed ice tea bursting with flavors of juicy wild berries.

Is all that crap southern enough for you? OK, there is a latte, but it's smothered in pecan syrup for heaven's sake. They'd better start hanging a pair of cardiac paddles among the bric-a-brac on the walls, just in case.

This is one of two latest examples of a modern phenomenon I call the trivialization of outrage. Here's another example involving folks on the left, and one I explained last week.

This jeans ad features a young woman who is apparently an actress I never heard of and whose primary talents appear to be emerging from her denim shirt. The slogan is an oh-so-clever pun on the words "jeans and genes." The usually male reference to "great genes" for any pretty girl has been around forever. And as I mentioned last week, it can go both ways in these enlightened times, as my wife would apply it to Brad Pitt or Antonio Banderas.

But somehow liberal folks have decided the genes pun applies to her race, not her looks. Even though, again, as I mentioned last week, I would apply it to Halle Berry or Salma Hayak equally, along with a long list of female fantasies. This isn't even all that original as Brooke Shields was pulling the same slightly sleazy tease 35 years ago, and no one argued that eugenics were involved then...

But we see politics in everything these days, from hash browns to denim and both sides are guilty. And why are either of these companies considered conservative?

Meanwhile, my erstwhile colleagues in the media are also guilty of feeding this silliness because if we are talking about jeans and restaurants, we aren't talking about soldiers on our street corners, the firing of government or military experts whose findings don't please the White House and first and foremost, a long-dead pervo-supremo who hung with the rich and famous.

In fact, regarding our sexual Svengali and his own personal Trilby, Ghislaine Maxwell, my prediction last week has proven true. In her "interview" with a throw-down DOJ lawyer, she apparently was barely aware of the President, much less on a professional basis. In fact, he was a "perfect gentleman."

And, of course, that not self-serving "interview" was trumpeted (yeah, I meant the pun) as exoneration, and she was transferred within the week to a summer camp-style prison in Texas and granted work release. My guess is that it will turn into a deportation flight of her own, first class no doubt, to some non-extradition country. I hear Montenegro is nice this time of year.

And as far as experts go, our Defense Secretary and Otis Campbell impersonator, Pete Hegseth, fired an Air Force General who was head of the Defense Intelligence Agency. This general had the temerity to tell the truth about the bombing raid on Iran and that it did damage but did not "obliterate" Iran's nuclear capacity. During any real military scenario, this would be information the Pentagon would want to know, but that is not the current modus operandi. Obliterate was the word of the day, and if you change the verbiage, you are on the beach, buddy.

I'm trying to picture Gregory Peck in "12 O'clock High" saying, "Come on, guys. I sent you over Berlin today. Can't you make this report more optimistic?"

Then Tulsi Gabbard, our glamorous Director of National Intelligence, announced a plan to cut her office's staff by over 40% by the end of the fiscal year, a move she called "ODNI 2.0".

This overhaul eliminates some departments, including the Foreign Malign Influence Center and the Cyber Threat Intelligence Integration Center. In other words, the people who keep an eye on our adversaries and their potentially harmful activities.

This is Oedipus-level self-blinding.

The same applies to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, whose gloomy jobs report in July got the department head fired. Her replacement comes from the conservative think tank, the Heritage Foundation, the fertile conservative bottom land that Project 2025 sprang from. He will no doubt massage the numbers, whatever they are, into something palatable to the POTUS. Just as in Star Trek...

And would more optimistic numbers be so bad, really? Just ask the folks in Greece.

Concerns over Greece's recession and debt crisis in 2009 were fueled by allegations that the government had manipulated its economic data for years, particularly concerning deficit and debt figures. This practice occurred both in the run-up to joining the Eurozone and during the financial crisis, enabling Greece to borrow at artificially low rates and delaying necessary reforms. Greece over-reported economic growth and under-reported it's deficits.

That generated a recession that took years to escape. The Federal Reserve and our trading partners, those that are left, need accuracy, or we will pay the price. And that price will be bigger than anything the President suffers in the public opinion polls.

And of course, we have the most embarrassing thing in Washington D.C. right now...

No, not that, this...

And, apparently, coming soon to a city near you. Well, unless that city has a Republican mayor. But lest we all get our knickers in a twist about this Juan Peron-like development, I think the New Yorker summed it up nicely...