When Life is Like a Story in the Onion

"The party that once called the President a fascist and dictator, now wants him to solve the border crisis by Presidential decree. The folks who were adamant they needed a border bill, now say, Joe could have solved this all by himself."

When Life is Like a Story in the Onion

Before I launch into anything resembling coherent analysis, an iffy term in respect to me in any case, I have to mention the fact that our United States Congress is in dire need of IQ standards. No, not cognitive like is being proposed for President Gramps, but basic gray matter. And the winner this week, and still champion, is the gentle-lady from Georgia, Marjorie Taylor Greene.

How Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene are changing the GOP
The braintrust.

Responding with outrage at the verdict in the Donald Trump "trying to screw New York banks" trial, she decided it was time to go after the judge in the case, Arthur Engoron, in a rather intimate way.

"Judge Engeron should be disrobed and thrown out, he’s a disgrace!!"

Now, I'm guessing, though clawing one's way through the tangled underbrush that is her brain glob is a herculean task, she was probably thinking "disbarred" or in the clergy sense, "defrocked." But, frankly, who knows? His half-human minions formed in a "peach tree dish" to make up his secret "gazpacho" police may well justify that he stand naked before Congress to answer for his role in the "Jewish space lasers" responsible for wildfires in California. Or, maybe not, on reflection.

This trumps, pardon the necessary pun, the recent pronouncement from Colorado's top GED recipient, "Piss me off and I'll burn down your trailer" title holder and Beetlejuice fan, Lauren Boebert.

But then there is the US Senator, and it says that right on his office door, from Alabama, Tommy Tuberville, whose, name still sounds like the host of an afternoon kid's program.

He was asked about the recent Alabama Supreme Court decision to declare fertilized eggs in clinics to be actual human beings. They are little Dicks and Janes only frozen in a glass tube, or maybe a peach-tree dish, for all I know. And of course, protected just like your kids are under the law. So, be careful if you ask your little frozen embryo to get out and find a damned job or simply cut the yard. You may be overstepping. But Tommy was on top of the subject.

Frankly, it's simple, as Monty Python explained...

But onto to other matters, because if I don't move on, I'll just post more Python.

George H. W. Bush once said that some men want to be president to do something, and some just want to be something. And then there are some men who simply want to stay out of the slammer. That is what we are faced with this year.

And DJT's desire to beat the courts into office and then declare he slid into second and the tag was late, is well known. But his recent foreign policy pronouncements remind us, as if we needed it, that he is oblivious to the duties and responsibilities of leading a global superpower.

His nonsensical remarks about not defending our NATO allies are all the proof you need that he is woefully out of his depth in international affairs. Not only that, but he defended Putin's invasion of Ukraine as savvy...

“I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine — of Ukraine — Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful,” Trump said in a radio interview. “He used the word ‘independent’ and ‘we’re gonna go out and we’re gonna go in and we’re gonna help keep peace.’ You gotta say that’s pretty savvy.”
Donald Trump nesting dolls on red textile

And then the nominee-to-be compared himself and his indictments, or "In-dick-ments (™)" to Lauren Boebert, to the imprisonment and ultimate assassination of Russian political dissident Alexei Navalny. And of course, no mention of the fact that it was Vlad who gave the order.

That is in line with the recent shift in the Republican Party to sentiments that are astonishingly pro-Putin. It is yet another extreme example of modern political philosophy, "Anything my opponent is for, I have to be against. Anything."

And the thing their opponents are for is a free Ukraine. And that attitude, one that smarter politicians would ordinarily reject, led to Trump making our NATO participation contingent on the other members anteing up. Now, an agreement to make other NATO members increase defense spending to 2% of GDP was reached during the Obama administration. Did you read about it? The answer is no, because it was reached in negotiations among partners with respect for each other, not at a podium before a crowd at a tractor pull. And barring a pause during the pandemic, they have been increasing that spending.

But I listened to Poland's Minister of Foreign Affairs, Radosław Tomasz "RadekSikorski this morning and he brought out a cogent point. The commitment to mutual defense in NATO is contained in Article 5 of the Charter. It has only been invoked once in the last 70-some-odd years. On 9/11.

Poland and other allies sent troops to help the US in Afghanistan and Iraq and, as Sikorsky pointed out, "We never sent America an invoice."

But, hey, if we can embarrass President Gramps on the international stage by letting Putin grab Ukraine by the P**sy, then we win, right? And it really doesn't matter because it's wa-a-a-y over there in a part of the world that's not important, right? Just as long as we "own" the libs and make sure the schools for our frozen embryos don't have Critical Race Theory. Or, really, any race theory at all.

And to be honest, which I almost always am, the party that once called the President a fascist, and dictator, now wants him to solve the border crisis by Presidential decree. The folks who were adamant they needed a border bill, now say, Joe could have solved this all by himself. Yes, since DJT said we can't give Gramps any political victories, the "essential" border bill that some responsible Republicans worked on with Democrats was denied even a vote in the House. And then they say won't take up the Ukraine bill since there's nothing in it for the border. But, but, there was this border bill thingy, remember?

There is a Steely Dan album called "Pretzel Logic" that comes to mind.

blue and white no smoking sign

Now, to be sure, Democrats have set up their own circular firing squads as well, the logic of which would confuse the Great Kreskin. For example, Representative Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, is the only Palestinian in the Congress. She is so upset with the war in Gaza and the administration's initial support for Israel, that she is urging Democrats not to vote for Joe Biden. And that would get you, uh, the other guy? And that would be better? I refer you back to my IQ test explanation earlier.

And anger over Israel's occupation policies on the West Bank and Gaza and the delicate nature involved in resolving a conflict of literally biblical lineage, has allowed young Democrats to revive anti-semitic tropes and fictions both on and off campus. Add to this the white nationalist wing of the GOP (see vermin and blood poisoning references) and if you are a politically involved American Jew, you could be forgiven for wondering, what the hell party do I want to be a part of?

For example, the Nazis at the recent Conservative Political Action Conference, or CPAC. Yes, Nazis as in, you know, those guys.

Didn't we get rid of these guys in the last century?

From NBC News...

"At the Young Republican mixer Friday evening, a group of Nazis who openly identified as national socialists mingled with mainstream conservative personalities, including some from Turning Point USA, and discussed so-called “race science” and antisemitic conspiracy theories."

And then the father of the Pizza Gate conspiracy, Jack Posobiec, spoke. In case you have forgotten, that was the allegation that Hillary and Bill Clinton used the Comet Ping Pong pizza restaurant in Washington, D.C., as a front for a pedophile sex ring; the back room was supposedly used for kidnapping and trafficking children. And in some cases drinking their blood to stay young. It has obviously worked so well.

Well, now, Jack is heralding the end of democracy. Here he is at CPAC...

In short, it's going to be an interesting election year, and one filled with the kind of oafish and zany comments I posted here. And when it's over, well, we will have a better handle on where the American people are in our collective attempt to prove Darwin wrong.

Roger Gray has toiled at the journalism trade since 1970 and his first radio news job at KTRH in Houston. Over those woefully misspent years, he has worked in radio, TV and written for magazines. He was twice elected President of the Texas Automobile Writers Association and was elected to the Texas Radio Hall of Fame. He covered the first Persian Gulf War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the reunification of Germany, Oslo Accords in Israel and peace talks in Ireland. He interviewed writers, actors, politicians and every President from Ford to George W, and none of them remember him.Now, he is part of the Texas Outlaw Writers, and if this doesn't pan out, the outlaw part will still work as he will indeed resort to robbing banks.