Can We Issue a Red Card now?

“Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” - Dennis to King Arthur

OK, we didn't get here because of the Lady of the Lake in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but this weekend showed that the farcical part is now our reality. And Dennis the peasant is right. A mandate from the masses is required in a democracy.

And no doubt the President feels he has one. He describes a 2024 election won by a landslide. It was anything but, as Trump came in 1.3% ahead of Harris in the popular vote, though he soundly won in the Electoral College. In fact, against Hillary Clinton in 2016, he lost the popular vote. I know that isn't how we elect Presidents for some archaic reason, but the popular vote does more accurately express the feelings of the Hoi Poloi.

But this year, on July 4th, the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, the President visited Mt Rushmore for a speech. Of course, before heading there, he posted this image on his Truth Social pretend Twitter...

I notice the other Presidents are trying to avoid eye contact. And of course, even though it's AI, it is in gold. That's because any 12-year-old can tell you gold means you're rich, as our presidential 12-year-old knows well.

By the way, this isn't the first time the President promoted himself to the national monument. Back in the first term, then-South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem welcomed the President's visit for the 4th with this small sculpture...

It's that level of derriere-osculation that gets you a cabinet appointment.

And of course, the 4th of July speech itself on the National Mall was an ode to unity, freedom, and the brotherhood of man. No, just kidding. It was a recitation of what he sees as his accomplishments, complete with his bitterness over his legal troubles and howling at the moon over what he still claims was a stolen 2020 election. Oh, and the Commies are coming!

It wasn't stolen, of course, and his acolytes' storming of the Capitol afterward cost a lot, according to a Government Accountability Office estimate placing the broader cost to taxpayers at $2.7 billion. This expansive figure includes the Architect of the Capitol's repair expenses, deployments, federal law enforcement operations, security enhancements, and investigations.

But these complaints are so long-standing, I have begun to wonder. Does he now actually believe this stuff? The old saw, usually attributed to Joseph Goebbels, or Steven Miller, I can never tell them apart, goes that if you tell a lie often enough, people will come to believe it. But in this case, has the liar come to believe his own BS?

I am a big fan of comedic actor and writer Albert Brooks. His actual last name is Einstein, which I think is more accurate. I have in my old dusty record collection a comedy album he did back in the 1970's called Comedy Minus One. One bit in it involves him describing opening for Richie Havens at a show in San Antonio.

I won't do the whole thing, but he mentions being introduced by a local disc jockey. In his classic bit, Brooks outlines exactly how a radio or club DJ handles criticism, which audiences inevitably hurl his way, with unyielding positivity:

• The Heckle: If an audience member yells, "Boo, you jerk!" the DJ seamlessly replies, "Thank you, you're beautiful!"
• The Follow-Up: Even if you point out something negative—like "I think your fly is open"—the DJ will cheerfully respond with, "It is a great day, isn't it?"

He said it must be something in the DJ inner ear that makes every insult a compliment, and that the Harvard Medical School is studying that as we speak.

I honestly think the President has become that disc jockey, and of course, that is reinforced with every servile utterance by his cabinet at these public praise-a-palooza gatherings in front of the cameras.

Well, after this July 4th public pity party, the President sat back with the First Lady to enjoy the rest of the celebration.

With the 250th celebration hijacked with his cheesy National State Fair and a dismal failure, the President had one more card to play on this festive weekend. Come on, we can't just let it go with the 4th turning into another endless Trump rally. Isn't there something else, something fun and successful we can meddle with as a victory?

Why, yes. Yes, there is. How about the World Cup? Held this year in the US, Canada, and Mexico, the World Cup soccer championship is the biggest sporting event on the planet. Visitors from all over the world have come here and expressed delight at discovering America and the kindness they received.

And to top everything, the US Men's team has done surprisingly well this year. But in a match against Bosnia-Herzegovina, our star player, Folarin Balogun, committed a foul that earned him a dreaded Red Card. I say dreaded because that's what everyone says, but admittedly, I know next to nothing about soccer, or football as the rest of the untutored world calls it.

I do know, though, it's bad enough that he would have to sit out the next crucial match against Belgium. And here's where the President saw his chance to piss off even more people than on Independence Day.

President Trump called the President of the sport's governing Organization FIFA, Gianni Infantino, to see if there was, you know, something that could be done, nudge, nudge, wink, wink? And who is Infantino to ignore the recipient of the first and only FIFA Peace Prize?

So, showing US cabinet-level courage, he "reexamined" the referee's call and reversed it. That royally enraged pretty much everyone around the world, and had Belgium not kicked our butts in the ensuing match, they were going to demand the ouster of the entire US team.

And here is the delicious irony of the whole imbroglio. Folarin Balogun is only able to play for the US because he is a birthright citizen, you know, like Marco Rubio. His mother is English and was visiting the US very late in her pregnancy when she went into labor. He later grew up in the UK, but technically, held dual citizenship. Glad the Supreme Court saw all of this coming and gave him a pass.

Now, I chose to enjoy the 4th of July anyway, despite the Trumpification of the event, because national pride transcends personal feelings, and I hope you did as well. We've had some great Presidents, some mediocre ones, and also Trump. But we have always muddled through and will again.

But, hey, hold off on those burgers because we're not through ruining the weekend.

On Saturday, the White House released a scathing 162-page report accusing the Smithsonian Institution of engaging in "extreme political activism" and presenting "a radical view of American history."

That is because it insists on showing both the accomplishments of our nation and its mistakes. You know, history. And that, to this White House, is intolerable. I have written about the Disneyfication of history both here in Texas and nationwide, and now the most prestigious museum in the country is in the crosshairs.

And, of course, we have the imaginary flirting with the Italian Prime Minister. I know, I lie to myself when looking in the bathroom mirror, but I've never resorted to Photoshop as proof. From Truth Social...

It gives a new meaning to Trump Derangement Syndrome.