Ladies? A Question. And a Declaration.

This week, I have a question to ask all the women out there, and a stand to take on an important issue.

Now, despite my ecological inclinations about this warming planet, I am a man of my generation. That, of course, being a paleolithic boomer. That means that, against my better judgment, I still enjoy internal combustion. My first car was a non-descript little English sedan called the MG 1100...

Yeah, it wasn't sexy, but it was English with red leather seats and a walnut dash and thus, cooler than a Dodge Dart. But then I discovered truly sexy European cars, like the Austin Healey 3000...

Yeah, me, too. That was my college car, and I ultimately owned two of them over the years and sold the last one in the 70's for $1200. They now bring $50-80K in this kind of condition. That, by the way, is the investment philosophy that will keep me firmly in the middle class for the rest of my days. Over the years, the list included MG, Triumph, Alfa Romeo, Fiat, Jaguars, Porsche and even a couple of VW Sciroccos.

Then, after our honeymoon in Mexico, my week driving a rusty hotel rental Jeep made me a Jeep guy.

I went from my fantasy James Bond persona to Jeremiah Johnson, much to the surprise of my better half. And for those comparisons, I humbly beg forgiveness of the spirits of Sean Connery and Robert Redford.

So, having established my automotive bona fides, I come to my question for women of any generation. And I know, this will come off as another old fart yelling "get off my lawn!"

Are women impressed with loud, window-rattling exhaust and stereo sounds? And I do mean window rattling, as it happens here all the time. I know automotive sound systems have come a long way from the little AM/FM's we had in the old days, and yes, we loved rock and roll, too, but really, people. The ear-splitting exhausts and throbbing bass lines as young guys pass by my little slice of Texas are incredible.

The question is, since most of the drivers of these trucks and cars are young men, does this really work with girls? As a former young man, I understand that pretty much everything you do at that time of life is to impress young women. Everything. And while I know a cool car is still a plus, is the macho display of sound also a turn-on? Does a young woman think, "Oh my. He sounds like quite a guy." Or is it more like...

All of my sports cars had that lovely burble, but none of them woke the neighbors. And if I'm hopelessly behind the times, so be it. I just know that when I sit on the back deck with a glass of wine and suddenly the birds fly away at the sound of a big Dodge Ram that doesn't appear to possess a muffler, I do find myself wondering, "Come on, kid. Do you think that really works?"

By the way, if the answer is yes, I'll willingly slink back to my decrepitude and offer my surrender.

And now to my firm stand from which I will not be moved. Baseball is the ultimate American sport and superior to all others. Period. I base this on not only nostalgia and the fact that it was the only sport I was ever good at, but the skill sets involved.

Let's get soccer and basketball out of the way first, as in many ways, they are similar. A top NBA player, or world-class soccer player, has to be able to control the ball, pass it when necessary, and shoot for the goal. OK, you have to guard the other guy, and, indeed, this comes closest to the skills needed for baseball.

As for football, I think it is no contest, and I say that as a die-hard Earl Campbell fan. Football is a specialized sport. One guy throws the ball, a couple of other guys catch it. Running backs run, defensive backs try to stop them and intercept the ball and all the other guys have one job. They hit the man in front of them, really hard. One guy kicks off the ground, and another punts. That's it. In many cases, you have one job to do, and pros do it well.

But let's take baseball. Hitting a major league pitch is widely considered to be the most difficult job in sports. from Popular Science...

The physics are extreme. The velocity of the average fastball in the Major Leagues is more than 90 miles per hour. When the ball whizzes in at that speed from less than 60 feet away, the hitter has about 150 milliseconds to decide whether they want to swing. That’s literally the blink of an eye.

And even though a hitter has that 150 milliseconds to decide whether to swing, the ball is only in the hitting zone for less than 10 milliseconds, according to David Kagan, a physics professor at California State University, Chico, and the self-proclaimed “Einstein of the National Pastime.” Essentially, the amount of time the ball is in a spot where the batter can make contact and keep it in fair territory equates to the time separating a photo finish at the Kentucky Derby.

And a major league player doesn't just have to hit. He needs to be able to catch, throw, and run, all under extremely difficult circumstances. And I mean every player. Although, to be fair, no one expects any pitcher to be a good hitter anymore. Well, except this guy...

It is also a more civilized game. I mean, the uniforms have belt loops and pockets. Really? REALLY?

So, in the argument over what is America's real pastime, for me there is no dispute. James Earl Jones was right...

I know. How many times can I post that clip? As I sit here misty-eyed yet again, the answer is as many as I can get away with.