Texas Outlaw Writers Newsletter: The Midterms are Coming, The Midterms are Coming! Edition

Texas Outlaw Writers Newsletter: The Midterms are Coming, The Midterms are Coming! Edition
Photo by Mirah Curzer on Unsplash

Do you remember the "In a world where..." guy? No, c'mon, you know the one. For years, for every single movie that came out, (at least the scary/horror/sci-fi/adventure films,) he did the promo/trailer voice-over. In a majority of those, the promo started out with some dramatic music and his voiceover began, "In a world... "that's powered by violence..." "where one man seeks justice..." "where the sun burns cold..." etc., etc. Check out this hilarious compilation of some of his "hits."

In a world where one man does every movie trailer... (see if you remember him now!)

Don Lafontaine did 5,000 movie trailers, and, get this... 750,000 commercials. Good pipes. Really good.

Even Geico couldn't resist a spoof; they hired LaFontaine to appear in it.

Though he died several years ago, I can't see a political ad and not think of him. Every political spot these days seems to be done in (bad) Don Lafontaine style. All of them seem apocalyptic. I hear the bass notes and the shrieking, "Psycho" style sound effects and expect Don's voice to accompany the photo/video of Greg Abbot or Beto O'Rourke. Of course, when the video of Dan Patrick or Ken Paxton pops up, it really IS scary.  

(Read the following in Lafontaine's voice...)

"In a world where indicted grifter Ken Paxton roams free, and Dan Patrick once suggested that elderly grandparents could be sacrificed to save the economy..."

"In a state that needed a savior... one man rode out of the darkness and into the light - on a skateboard. The odds were against him, but he decided to make a stand. The Beto was ready for a blue fight in a blood-red state..."

"In the shadow of the Alamo, where defenders of freedom once laid down their lives for Texas independence, millions of Texian women raise their voices for their own reproductive freedom. The state will no longer control them. And this time, they don't plan to lay down their lives. They're in it for victory!"

and one more, to be taken (somewhat) seriously...

"In a world where reptilian creatures ruled the planet, destroying everything they touched... monsters controlled entirely by their ultra-wealthy masters... there was only one thing that could stop them. One thing could put an end to the misery caused by this freak show. That one thing was to VOTE. For hope, for security, for civility, for life... rise up and vote."


This week, Roger Gray is slinging a lot of numbers around, which is dangerous considering his math skills. But with everyone and his brother promising to balance the federal budget this election season, it's time to face facts. We are screwed.

Too Many Numbers | Texas Outlaw Writers
Hey kids! Let’s play balance the budget! OK, we won’t really, but let’s pretend.

We're glad that guest contributor Rob D'Amico dropped by and gave us an update on how things are going in far West Texas. Badly, it seems. In one of the few blue rural W. Texas counties, the GOP seems to be making a play for some (formerly) loyal Dems. Betrayal is never a good look.

In a Solid Blue County, a Local Judge Flips to the GOP - Rails Against Abortion and Migrant ‘Invasion’
“Midterm pundits’ eyes are on the Rio Grande Valley. But in the Big Bend region Presidio County Judge Cinderela Guevara is making a political bet that her name recognition and tough stance on immigration and abortion can make her turncoat move to run as a Republican successful in November.”

"In a world where Ken Paxton is still a free man..." That's right, movie go'ers, twice indicted TX Attorney General wants to send election observers to Harris County in the name of "Election Integrity." DeeceX suggests that "integrity" is an interesting term to be applied to anything that Paxton is a party to. Kenny keeps postponing court action on his alleged securities fraud charges. Meanwhile, SEVEN whistleblowers (who were all top aides in his own office!) accused him of bribery, improper influence, abuse of office, and other crime-ing.

Did we mention that he was (and continues to be) a real Trump fan?

Boo! The NIghtmare in Texas | Texas Outlaw Writers
Happy Halloween! In honor of the World Series between the Astros and the Phillies, we’re tripping around the bases of the absurd, the depressing and the obscene in Texas politics.

"In a world where election ads terrorize people in their own homes, and the mention of 'midterms' makes the blood run cold..." Myra Jolivet wants us to focus on some fine humans that, under adverse conditions, made Democracy possible. Some of them died for the cause, and most of them you have never heard of. They all made a difference. They all inspire.

Tribute to the Champions of Democracy | TX Outlaw Writers
This midterm election cycle is rife with election deniers, poll worker intimidation and attacks on elected officials. It is a perfect time to remember a few of the courageous people who wrongly faced imprisonment, brutality, and death by those intent upon sabotaging fair elections and human rights.

Outlaw James Moore remembers "the cowboy poet singer scholar and historian of the West, Don Edwards. If you had heard him sing, you knew what the mountains might sound like if they had a voice, and his yodel was music of the empty desert sky filling with morning light." Jim's tribute to Edwards is woven into Jim's own discovery of the American West. It's a crush that began when he left Michigan for the first time as a teenager with nothing but a backpack and an outstretched thumb.

Cowboy Down | Texas Outlaw Writers
“One cannot be pessimistic about the West. This is the native home of hope. When it fully learns that cooperation, not rugged individualism, is the quality that most characterizes and preserves it, then it will have achieved itself and outlived its origins.” - Wallace Stegner, Western author

Did you catch our podcast this last weekend? We'll send out a separate newsletter to alert you to new podcasts. This one featured political/communications strategies Keir Murray. All the Outlaws quizzed him on his predictions for the upcoming midterms. We wondered what the polls look like and how to read them... (Spoiler alert, Keir suggests that election outcome polling is completely broken, there is just not much to glean from those polls that you're hearing.) Give it a listen if you haven't. There's a podcast "player" on this link below or you can play/subscribe from the usual podcast distributors. (Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Amazon, Google, etc.) Take a listen and give us a few stars or a review, )depending on the service you use.)

Political Analyst Keir Murray on the Midterms | TX Outlaw Writers
“Having worked in the business for the last 2+ decades, I see too many people now running for office just to become social media personalities. Generate income from becoming celebrities, move on to some other money-making venture after they leave office or even while they’re in office.”