I, Love a Parade

Midweek, last week, my lovely wife Velveeta started to backtrack on her "No Kings" parade plans.

"Abbott is sending National Guard troops. The mayor is calling for extra security. Trump has already sent the Guard AND the Marines into L.A. I think this could go bad." As the week went on, and the national rhetoric heated up, Houston and Harris County officials kept trying to tamp things down. They praised local law enforcement for their planning and preparation, and assured the public that Houston had dealt with similarly sized crowds and demonstrations. From massive Pride parades, rodeo parades, street festivals, World Series championship parades, basketball championship parades and dozens of other holiday block parties, the local constabulary has crowd management down to a science.

U.S. Rep. Wesley Hunt (Rep.-Houston, Idiot-Everywhere) warned of hundreds of riots planned across the country. He wrote a letter to local officials stating that they "must adopt a zero-tolerance policy for violent riots." Unique idea, Wes! Did you cc The Dear Leader on your mas macho analysis?

Friends and neighbors were getting excited. Ride shares were being arranged. It looked like it might be fun and worthwhile.

Meanwhile, in the nation's capital, things were looking fairly dubious. Trump was adamant about having himself a grand old military parade. He had wanted one ever since he had seen a Bastille Parade in 2017 along the Champs-Élysées in Paris. He wanted a similar dazzling display of military might, all in his honor, on his birthday. Uh, <checks notes,> I mean, all for the Army's 250th birthday celebration.

But the weather report was calling for rain. The forecast was Trumpy to mostly Trumpy. There was still resistance in the military brass that did not want to look like we were turning into North Korea. It would cost tens of millions of dollars for an administration still in the throes of slashing budgets. There was red-hot anger in many circles (including a handful of Republicans) over Trump calling up the National Guard and the Marines to Los Angeles to quell anti-ICE protests that had resulted in some violence and vandalism. The threat of protestors in Washington had Trump and his lackeys fired up. “For those people that want to protest, they’re going to be met with very big force,” Mr. Trump said. “And I haven’t even heard about a protest, but you know, this is people that hate our country, but they will be met with very heavy force.”

After hearing friends and family make plans to brave the uncertainty of 'the very big force,' lovely Velveeta decided that she would go. Good progressives loaded up their fanny packs with first aid kits, water bottles, face masks, and pocket Constitutions.

The Houston "No Kings" celebration started in front of City Hall. Several politicos and influencers made badly amplified speeches. (murmur, murmur, murmur HOUSTON! <yay!! Murmur, murmur TRUMP! <booooo!> Murmur, IMPEACH! <YAY!> and on and on. After about an hour of that, the herd began to move toward the street. A huge overflow that had collected on the side streets merged in. Signs were raised higher, chanting started in unison (or not), and a feeling of crowd-boosted inspiration filled the air.

Everyone's sign game was on point. The chants, sloganeering, and cheering were a relief and a morale booster - it was a great day and a great way to rise above the fatalistic undertow of Trumpism.

The Houston police were, as usual for these events, respectful and vigilant. I didn't observe any members of the National Guard that Abbott had threatened to send, though a DPS helicopter kept watch (and made noise) overhead. The crowd left the cops alone, unless they waved or offered their gratitude. That doesn't mean that the po-po weren't rigged for trouble... helmets, riot gear...even the horses wore eyeshields in case it all went to hell.

There were, in fact, thousands of "No Kings" protests around the country. The big "liberal" cities turned out in force (to no one's surprise.) It's estimated that over 15,000 turned out in Houston. Other large cities showed up as well with impressive numbers: 80,000 in Philadelphia; as many as 75,000 in Chicago; 50,000 in New York, San Francisco, and in the much smaller Portland, where the march stretched for twelve city blocks; at least 70,000 in Seattle, one of the biggest protests in the city’s history; ten thousand or more in cities like Los Angeles, Milwaukee, and Spokane.

The protests reached deep into Trump-voting country, and not just in massive, populous cities. Thousands turned out across thirty-five different Iowa municipalities, including several thousand in Cedar Rapids and seven thousand at the state capitol in Des Moines. In Nebraska, ten thousand came together in Omaha, which had seen 1,000 people gather a day earlier to protest recent ICE raids, while two thousand people filled up the main strip of Lincoln and hundreds more protested in rural cities like Hastings and North Platte... These scenes were replicated by many thousands more demonstrators in numerous Trump-voting states: across thirty cities in Missouri, dozens more cities in Texas, at least twenty-four communities across Alaska, more than a dozen in Kentucky and Indiana a piece, and more than seventy cities in Florida, an ever-reddening state that last year saw even traditionally more liberal metropoles like Miami-Dade County move markedly toward Trump. For some of these locations, Trump’s recent controversial actions, including siccing the military on US protesters, had clearly spurred more grassroots opposition: in Mobile, Alabama, for instance, the two thousand protesters who turned out were a major step up from the hundreds who taken to the city’s streets two months ago, during the first series of nationwide “No Kings” protests.

Take note that there were almost no counterprotests. No throwing rocks and bottles across the street while cops in riot gear referee. And the crowds were not only racially diverse, but all age groups were represented. Lots of sound bites along the lines of "I've never done anything like this before!"

Back to Washington:

The U.S. Army celebrated its 250th birthday (and Trump's 79th) with a lot of military hardware, men and women in uniforms that dated from the American Revolution to Iraq and Afghanistan, and mostly recorded music that ranged from Van Halen to Lee Greenwood. Always that damn Lee Greenwood. There were muskets and robot dogs, WWII tanks and modern drones. P-51 WWII fighters and Blackhawk helicopters. Paratroopers and fireworks.

And by all accounts, the whole thing seemed pretty dull.

It was less Leni Riefenstahl's "Triumph of the Will" and more Bill Murray's "Stripes."

Army Training, Sir!

But even Bill Murray had a little Razzle Dazzle in his platoon. Trump's troops marched in modern field uniforms (not dress uniforms) and were lackluster and out of step. Most of the observers just called it sloppy.

Excuses range from "they were out of practice," to "commanders didn't want this to look like N. Korea." Some blamed the blaringly loud music by the reviewing stand - it would have been impossible to hear marching commands with Heart's "Barracuda," Lizzo's "About Damned Time," and Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son" turned all the way up to 11.

Hilariously, John Fogerty of CCR has repeatedly asked the Trump people not to use his music, and he's issued cease and desist orders when they've played "Fortunate Son" during campaigns.

From Snopes, verifying the use of the tune during the parade: It's, of course, a Vietnam War protest song about society's elite being able to dodge the draft while those less fortunate were forced to join up and ship out, was released in 1969. 
Further, in a "cease and desist" message posted to X (archived) in 2020, Fogerty said, "I wrote this song because, as a veteran, I was disgusted that some people were allowed to be excluded from serving our country because they had access to political and financial privilege … The fact that Mr. Trump also fans the flames of hatred, racism and fear while rewriting recent history, is even more reason to be troubled by his use of my song."

A little music trivia: Creedence released that song in 1969. President Bone Spurs had received his 4th student deferment in 1968, and got his medical exemption near the end of that year.

"Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Hoo, they're red, white and blue
And when the band plays "Hail to the chief"
Ooh, they point the cannon at you,
Lord, It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no senator's son, son
It ain't me, it ain't me
I ain't no furtunate one, no..."
-John Fogarty - "Fortunate Son"

Trump biographer Michael Wolff reports that Trump was furious at the whole "tone" of the parade, and took out his wrath on former Fox Host, alcoholic, and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. From Yahoo News:

“He’s p***ed off at the soldiers,” he said. “He’s accusing them of hamming it up, and by that, he seems to mean that they were having a good time, that they were waving, that they were enjoying themselves and showing a convivial face rather than a military face.” he said to Hegseth, the tone was all wrong. Why was the tone wrong? Who staged this? There was the tone problem. Trump, he keeps repeating himself.” “It didn’t send the message that he apparently wanted, which is that he was the commander-in-chief of this menacing enterprise,” the biographer added. 
The White House called Wolff a “lying sack of s***” and a “proven … fraud.”

The crowds were predicted to be a quarter of a million folks. In their usual style, Trumpistas insisted that at least a couple of hundred thousand showed up. Nope. Tellingly, there weren't any aerial shots released of the full parade route; even the reviewing stands weren't full. The mall was wide open, only broken up by kiosks and booths demonstrating army firepower. Kids were allowed to handle (presumably unloaded) machine guns and rocket launchers. "Point that thing at the grandstand, Jr."

And wouldn't you know it, commercial products were being marketed and handed out by the U.S. Military. Products like "Phorm Energy" drink were being hawked... made by a company co-owned by Dana White, a personal friend of King Donald. Federal law prohibits the use of public office for gain of officeholders or their friends, relatives or nongovernmental affiliates... but that has yet to stop Trump, his family, and business associates from expecting favors from individuals and companies that have business before the government. Companies like Oracle, Coinbase, and Palantir were all given a shoutout from the parade announcer and listed as "sponsors" on the event website. Surprisingly, no Tesla!?! Must have been an oversight. All of these companies (and more) are seeking to increase or extend contracts with the feds. We're seeing the US Government in the business of endorsing products in exchange for monetary favor.

As with most of Trump's rallies, the crowd started trickling out before it was over. It was too hot, too muggy, too long, and a little rainy at times. While the army did a great job of presenting a historic narrative with their vintage uniforms and weaponry, it lacked a certain flair. Or as Trump put it, a certain "tone."

Back in Houston, and the rest of America...

The "No Kings" parade wrapped up early in the afternoon. There were smiles and feelings of pride and maybe a bit of hope. Everyone's thoughts turned to tacos, and mimosas and brunch.

Lisa Falkenberg of the Houston Chronicle wrote a great piece on the people at the protest, and why they were there, what they thought of the parade, etc. She ran into a young woman from Guatemala who had two young daughters, 4 and 7, in tow. She was in the shadows, waiting to see if it was OK to wheel her little hot dog cart nearer the crowd. Undocumented, her husband had been deported, leaving her to work on the sly and care for her daughters. She finally felt confident enough to fire up her cart, grilling bacon-wrapped hot dogs, peppers, and onions.

"We were watching carefully to make sure the people were marching peacefully,” the 28-year-old from Guatemala told me in Spanish. “When people get rowdy, we are the ones who end up losing. “It’s scary to come out of the house,” she said, adding that she used to regularly roll their sizzling cart outside clubs and other events. “But since all of this started, we have not been able to go out.” “You realize that you’re not alone,” she said. “It makes you want to cry to see the American people supporting you. Not every American wants us to leave,” she said. “There are those who know that we come to work responsibly and with dignity. We know that there are also criminals, but the majority come to work to be able to support their families.”

On our way home, we heard about the continued street violence in a small section of Los Angeles. Then a news alert popped up about the political assassinations in Minnesota. The Trump undertow had returned and was growing stronger.

Back home, inside the air conditioning, I looked out my window at a neighbor's place, where a large garage apt. was being built. Through MAGA eyes, you can see the terrorists on top of that house: there's a murderer right there, along with a rapist, and of course the head of a large drug cartel. You can just tell these things when you're in with the MAGA crowd.

The thermometer on my shaded front porch read 91°. There was no shade on top of that framework.

Sing it one more time, Lee Greenwood.

"I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land (I love this land)
God bless the USA."