Inciteful Analysis, and a Cheap Boob Joke

Read about Israel, Iran, John Kennedy, MTG, Chip Roy, and of course, Trump! Now with a free tacky joke! You're welcome!

Inciteful Analysis, and a Cheap Boob Joke
Finally, people!

Despite the best efforts of several gormless "statesmen and women" in the greatest deliberative body in the world, a couple of good things happened this week.

We managed to avoid a full-scale Middle East war when seemingly, the President and virtually every other world leader urged Prime Minister Netanyahu to forego some sort of mass response to the Iranian response to the Israeli bombing of Iran's Damascus embassy in response to Hezbollah, in response to everything before. I know, you have to keep up with whether we are at at tit or tat in these things.

"I say it's TAT. Oh, and what a pathetic, cheap joke."

OK, Bibi did decide that the best way to root out the remnants of HAMAS in the city of Rafah which is crammed with about 1.5 million refugees, was not with ground forces picking their way through the city, but by aerial bombing. They managed to get 22 Palestinians, but only one of them was a grown man. Can I suggest that is not the most productive means to accomplish the task and might generate a new generation of angry young people? Just a thought.

But there is no wider war with Iran in the meantime, and despite the fact that US, British, French, Jordanian and Saudi aircraft helped shoot down a big portion of the Iranian drones sent Israel's way last weekend, many, like that Foghorn Leghorn on helium, Senator John Kennedy, decided that President Biden had gone "wobbly" in support of Israel...

By the way, that folksy aphorism, which appears to be the only reason for his presence in the Senate, was recycled. He used the same one for everyone from Fed Chairman Jerome Powell to the head of Major League Baseball. Senator, go to Amazon and buy a new joke. And, shake things up by using your real accent. You don't have to listen to all of this, just a few words from then State Treasurer John Kennedy...

The man went to Vanderbilt, The University of Virginia and was a Rhodes Scholar, for heaven's sake. He is two years younger than me and sounds like my grandfather, if my grandfather talked in a cartoon voice. But every court needs a jester, so...

Anyway Another fellow I wrote about a few weeks ago, House Speaker Mike Johnson, also from Louisiana, but able to satisfy the base with his normal voice, decided to do the smart thing. Instead of trying to get all his little rug rats to vote for a single, combined foreign aid bill, he spoon fed the urchins single helpings of essential military aid. So, they could vote for aid to Israel, Taiwan and the Putin wing could vote against helping Ukraine fight for it's national existence because, you know, Putin is just retaking what was his. At least that's the attitude many, including Trump supporters take. And that's fine with Vlad...

I am reminded of a favorite moment in one of my favorite films, "The Usual Suspects," the only movie my wife and I sat through twice because we were so impressed with the plot. The moment comes when Kevin Spacey has been masquerading as an ineffective cripple when he is actually the international villain Keyser Soze...

Now, I don't know what Putin has on Trump, or what Trump hopes to get from Putin, and why he would break up the 75-year-old Atlantic alliance to get it, but his acolytes in the amen corner of American witlessness are all in on it...whatever it is.

And sadly, some of the US House of Representatives, admittedly in the shallow end of the gene pool, are all in as well. This comment from the so-called House Freedom Caucus preceded the vote on foreign aid...

“The House Freedom Caucus will vote NO on rule for the ‘America Last’ foreign wars supplemental package with zero border security, and urge all House Republicans to do the same."

Now, why the war in Ukraine is labeled "America Last" and the Middle East is not is beyond me. I can only gather that it's because I apparently went to college. I mean, most of these folks seem to have the same degrees but simply make no sense.

For example, the claim by schnooks like Texas Representative Chip Roy (R-Bug Tussle), known affectionately by colleagues as "Chip-for Brains," that he can't vote for this stuff unless border security is included. That, of course, ignores the fact that the same package, WITH border security attached, was rejected by these guys months ago at the behest of the guy who is sleeping and farting in a New York courtroom right now. That's like the guy who smacked Nancy Kerrigan complaining that she is limping.

And we can't ignore, though lord knows we try, the Gentle Lady from Georgia...

I was actually watching the coverage on Sky News, which is, you know, British. When their reporter tried mightily to get a question in for a full 10 minutes, he was told by one of MTG's trolls, "We are only talking with American reporters." Why this curious Limey-phobia? I can only guess they are behind in Trump's imaginary NATO dues, so for now, "No soup for you."

The reporter, to his credit, observed to the network anchor that the accent usually works in his favor.

But Marge was very active in offering, some might say hurling up, several amendments to the military aid bills. For example...

  • Requires all Members of Congress who vote in favor of this Act to conscript in the Ukrainian Military.
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine stops persecuting Christians. (Ah, she's been watching Tucker)
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine closes all bio-laboratories. (Yeah, Tucker as well)
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine holds free and fair elections. (Like Putin's recent triumph, one supposes)
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine bans abortion.
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine turns over all information related to Hunter Biden and Burisma.
  • Prohibits funding until Ukraine turns over all information related to Hunter Biden and Burisma. (Yeah, really)
  • Prohibits funding until 'former actor' Volodymyr Zelensky resigns as President of Ukraine.

I'd like to point out that these were actual amendments offered by Rep Greene ((R-Hialeah), and there actually were more. One, might seem familiar. She wants the same space laser technology we shared with Israel used on the border. Yes, Jewish space lasers. She tweeted...

“I've previously voted to fund space lasers for Israel's defense. America needs to take our national security seriously and deserves the same type of defense for our border that Israel has and proudly uses."

Wholesale Secret Jewish Space Laser Corps Sticker for your store - Faire

One wag has suggested that her solution to the immigrant problem is Soylent Greene. She did indeed call the war in Ukraine, "the war against Russia in Ukraine." That is akin to the war against Japan in Pearl Harbor.

She and Chip and Uncle Cornpone in the Senate are all paid $174,000 a year for this. Give me the money and I'll at least write better jokes.

I'm going to repeat what I wrote awhile back. Mike Johnson might be the closest thing on that side to an adult in the room. Despite massive difference on several policies, democrats might be wise to keep him there against the French Revolutionaries who have the guillotine ready.

Now, onto the more important things next week. For example, the former President says that New York courtroom is freezing. Can someone lend him some mittens, for crying out loud!

bernie sanders crochet doll sitting on a bench with brown mittens, face mask, and coat
Roger Gray has toiled at the journalism trade since 1970 and his first radio news job at KTRH in Houston. Over those woefully misspent years, he has worked in radio, TV and written for magazines. He was twice elected President of the Texas Automobile Writers Association and was elected to the Texas Radio Hall of Fame. He covered the first Persian Gulf War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the reunification of Germany, Oslo Accords in Israel and peace talks in Ireland. He interviewed writers, actors, politicians and every President from Ford to George W, and none of them remember him.Now, he is part of the Texas Outlaw Writers, and if this doesn't pan out, the outlaw part will still work as he will indeed resort to robbing banks.