The Lucky and the Deranged
One prominent group of TDS sufferers are the Mar-a-Lag-Hos. These are the botoxed, siliconed, stretched, tightened, filled, and puffed ladies and gentlemen who wander the red-carpeted halls of the Trump resort and sometimes the White House.
"For the past two weeks, you have been reading about the bad break I got," the stoic, All-Star, New York Yankee addressed the crowd from home plate. "Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." When the cheers finally quieted down and the tears were wiped away, Lou Gehrig left the stadium, telling a friend, "I'm going to remember this day for a long time."
The day was July 4, 1939, and it had been declared "Lou Gehrig Appreciation Day," barely two months after his retirement. Baseball fans remember Gehrig and his almost unequaled career to this day. (Only Babe Ruth - a teammate - and later Hank Aaron - would ever hit in more runs than Gehrig.) The stoic, decent, understated Gary Cooper would play the stoic, decent, understated Gehrig in the hit movie, "Pride of the Yankees." The movie would end with that famous line Gehrig had uttered at the plate.
Even though he was still playing a strong game, Gehrig had been feeling weak, and he thought he was playing poorly. He benched himself, and a Dr. would check him out. It turned out that he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), an incurable neuromuscular illness. Though rare, it was not unknown at the time. People began to refer to ALS as Lou Gehrig's Disease. Two years after the celebration named in his honor, he would die of complications from the disease named in his honor.
Other diseases have become familiar to people through references to well-known patients who have suffered from the maladies, or more commonly, through doctors who have discovered/defined the disease itself, or a particular ailment's cure.
• Christmas Disease (Hemophilia B): A patient named Stephen Christmas
• Hodgkin's Disease (Lymphoma): Thomas Hodgkin, who identified it in 1832.
• Parkinson's Disease: Named after Dr. James Parkinson, who published "An Essay on the Shaking Palsy" in 1817.
There have been many more. But no namesake as famous, no ailment is as devastating as the recently discovered disease that was named after a particular Patient Zero. And that same disease was diagnosed - with no medical exams or testing - BY that same Patient Zero, in his own personal enemies. Although those same enemies of Patient Zero suggest that the disease is instead rampant in Zero's friends. "Trump Derangement Syndrome" or"TDS." Symptoms include deranged behavior frequently observed in Donald Trump: narcissism, arrogance, avarice, total lack of empathy, hubris, and extreme megalomania. (Though Trump insists that only his enemies have the disease, and that the sole symptom is hatred for him. Well, he's as wrong about that as he is about everything else.)
A Deranged Holiday Season
The Body and Facial Stylings of the Mar-a-Lag-Hos
One prominent group of TDS sufferers are the Mar-a-Lag-Hos. These are the botoxed, siliconed, stretched, tightened, filled, and puffed ladies and gentlemen who wander the red-carpeted halls of the Trump resort and sometimes the White House, all sporting custom-tailored and often frightening faces and bodies.
Most of them have more face/body filler than the banged-up 1972 Chevy Impala I drove in college.
And speaking of banged up, take a look at some of the before/afters of these MAGA horror-hos.
In Washington DC and Miami, these "looks" are now being requested of area plastic surgeons. Some Drs. are happy to take the money and pump the jam into the ham. Others are horrified.
"Anita Kulkarni, (a) prominent plastic surgeon in D.C., is not a fan. She told the Guardian clients are increasingly requesting cosmetic alterations that “go outside the range of what a normal human face should look like” — to the point that she’s turned some of them away. “To my eye, if I put any more in there, you’re going to cross over from looking like the best version of yourself to looking like Maleficent,” Kulkarni said. “I have to say no in a way that I have never seen before.”"
A bit of slow motion morphing, from "perfectly lovely "to WTF is this creature?"
Beyond the facial "sculpting," there is a lot of body work available on the menu. Butt lifts, butt augmentations, breast lifts, breast augmentation, breast reductions, tummy tucks, liposuction, and various skin tightening procedures. If you're thinking that most plastic surgery is an attempt to subtly disguise the effects of aging, you would be out of touch with how status works. Because, at least in the MAGA world, plastic surgery is now status, in addition to beauty (and beauty is in the eye - and butt, and breasts - of the beholder.)
Those massive duck-lips are as much a signal to the Trump crowd as a bright red MAGA hat. (And somewhere, a platypus is looking for a lawyer to sue for appropriation of facial features.) Those breastal balloons are the price of entry into Trumplandia.
And don't think it's all the women that find the surgeon's knife a trashionable accessory. The boys are getting MAGA-modified, too.
Matt Gaetz demonstrated his penchant for questionable choices (some of many) via his silicone smirk. A plastic pedophile (among many in Trumplandia) shows off his almost lifelike features that scream, "Stranger Danger."
These are the easiest TDS symptoms to spot.
A Golden Dumbphone Smartphone
A more subtle sign of Derangement sufferers is that they are holding a golden phone to their ear. Or rather, maybe in their heart, because the oft-touted Trump Mobile flagship phones haven't "shipped" yet, but "...when we release the T1TM Phone later this year, you'll be the first to receive it!"
So, the clock is ticking! How exciting to get one by New Year's Eve?
According to the Trump Mobile website (you look it up, I won't link it here!) these imaginary communications computers are "...brought to life right here in the USA. With American hands behind every device, we bring care, precision, and trusted quality to every detail." If you read that carefully, you will note that it no longer says "Made in the USA." Because no smartphone of any kind can be made, parts and all, in the States for that price.
Tinglong Dai, a professor of operations management and business analytics at Johns Hopkins University’s Carey Business School, told WSJ that it would take “at least five years” to fully manufacture smartphones like the T1 in the U.S.
“There’s absolutely no way you could make the screen, get that memory, camera, battery, everything” in the U.S., he said.
If you can't wait 5 years, you can show your TrumpLove by buying an overpriced, older, refurbished iphone from the fine American Company. Try a used iphone14 for $489... that you can easily get from Amazon for $323. What a steal! Only who's the thief, here, really? But when you've got the TDS bug, these things happen all the time!
The New Face of News - Only Bari Weiss Just Ain't Bari Good
MAGA world continues its battle with all media that isn't equal to or preferably further right-wing than FOX. The strategy lately is just to buy them all out and assign loyalist-toadies to manage and propagandize on various broadcast and internet news channels. The latest is a full frontal attack on CBS and CBS News. CBS, ("The Tiffany Network"), though in a decade (or more) ratings slump, does carry a legacy of excellence in serious journalism. Think: Edward R. Murrow, Charles Kuralt, "Uncle" Walter Cronkite ('The Most Trusted Man in America') Morley Safer, Dan Rather, Norah O'Donnell, Bill Plante... the list goes on. They reported in war zones, from the eye of hurricanes, at civil rights protests/riots, and worse, the White House.
Currently, CBS appears to be up for sale, and a high-stakes bidding war is underway for Warner Bros.-Discovery, a media conglomerate that would reshape U.S. news and entertainment if acquired. The details are too much to dive into here, but fellow Outlaw Roger Gray has a good 'splainer in his recent post, here.
Bari Weiss is the newly appointed editor-in-chief and a right-wing ombudsman. This is universally seen as a move to curry favor with Trump and the FCC. Proof of loyalty would go a long way to move the network merger. Loyalty like the recent cancellation of the investigative pieces titled "Inside CECOT." A report that showed human rights abuses and brutal conditions at the notorious El Salvador prison where Trump's flying monkeys deported Venezuelan migrants. Fearful of the derangement contagion spreading, resignations at CBS are rampant – even as infected Zombies take the helm.
From an archival website, this is the story you weren't supposed to see.
She spiked (reporter-speak for killing a story – usually for commercial or political reasons) that 60 Minutes CECOT story only hours before broadcast. That only assured that it spread throughout the internet like wildfire – she failed to take into account that Canada receives a copy of the show that airs in an earlier time slot. So Canadians, generally none-too-pleased with the Trump Kingdom lately – were only all too happy to pass it around the innerwebs, assuring it a greater audience than it would have probably gotten otherwise.
Weiss claimed that the story “needed additional reporting.” She specifically was interested in the Trump White House commenting on the story, which correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi, said that her team had requested comment from the White House, the State Department, and the Department of Homeland Security.“
Ladies and gents, I've worked with 60 Minutes producers and CBS correspondents before. I assure you that they dot every i and cross every t. And importantly, I've seen them change the direction of their story when a particular interview or some new information affects any preconceived notion or previous reporting on the story. Last year was the 50th straight year that "60" was ranked the number one news magazine show on the air. It only took Weiss a couple of months to blow it up.
Hilariously, she took it upon herself to schedule an interview with Charlie Kirk's widow. In a softball "town-hall" style interview, Weiss lobbed Erika Kirk questions and then passed on any serious fielding of the answers. Even when the audience asked questions, like: in the spirit of stopping political violence, would she “hold both parties to the same standard and expectation” and “condemn the violent rhetoric of Donald Trump, the most powerful and influential person on earth?”
"Kirk dodged the question, eventually coming around to calling for parents to 'step up' and not raise political assassins."
This is, without getting into a row over Charlie Kirk's "Christian" agenda and provocative rhetorical style, just a whitewash of what journalism should be. No one pressed Ms. Kirk, now chairwoman and CEO of TPUSA, on her husband's thinly veiled (and many overt) racist and sexist statements over the years. Ms. Kirk, an activist in her own right, now takes up the organization and work that her late husband was known for. Seems a bit odd, since Charlie advocated many times that women should abandon careers and education and “submit to a godly man” and raise “more children than you can afford.”
Oh, Erika. I mean, you go, girl! In a Christian, submissive way.
I almost forgot, the ratings for the interview were so abysmal that Weiss canceled an "all-hands" town hall meeting with the news staff that was scheduled for a few days later. Usual ratings for that time slot were around two million viewers. Even with an excellent lead-in to the interview (the Army-Navy football game, which had about 7.3 million viewers) the audience dropped off to about 1.5 million. And btw, conservatives didn't much care for the interview, either. At the TPUSA conference which followed a few days later, Ms. Kirk failed to unite the now factioning special interests in the MAGAsphere. Many are calling it a GOP civil war.
I grieve.
The Still Alive (if barely) Donald Trump Honors His Death with an Arts Center Memorializing a Better President
You've all heard by now that the once great John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts is now 'officially' The Donald J. Trump and The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts.
The result? Ticket sales are down as low as they were during the pandemic. Subscriptions have been canceled, and new subscription sales are down. Artists are canceling performances, including a run of Hamilton (no one wants to be in the room where that happened). Most recently, a scheduled Jazz Christmas Eve show was canceled by the musicians. The annual Nutcracker performance sales goal was missed by about ½ million dollars. Artists have turned down the "Trump-Kennedy Center Awards and the show that presents them (Trump insisted on being a host.) Never fear: Gene Simmons of KISS and Sylvester Stallone were happy to take home a prize. And a case of raging TDS.
It's OK, America. The Great Donald Trump is picking out marble armrests for the Center. Unlike anything ever done or seen before! Ever! Ever! Ever!
I mean, marble, y'all! Marble! My lovely wife, Velveeta, said that Betty Lou Thelma Liz, one trailer park over... she has a toilet seat made out of this! Same color and everthang! It's beautiful! So classy!!! I mean, it's covered in pee sometimes, 'cause Ed Earl, her fourth husband, says it's "too fukkin' heavy to lift up just to piss!" But it's so purty. A little sticky sometimes, but purty!!
The Trump goons that were put in place to manage the arts center failed to register new URLs for the rebranding. So, if you get a chance, visit trumpkennedycenter.org.
When Trump was originally floating the idea around about renaming the Center, Fox News host Jesse Watters claimed Trump told him, "I'm building a monument to myself because no one else will." He's also admitted that he's always wanted a Kennedy Center honor. "I waited and waited and waited, and I said to hell with it, I'll become chairman, and I'll give myself an honor. Next year we'll honor Trump, OK?"
Ain't that some sad, pathetic shit? But like every other sad, pathetic shit he's foisted upon us, we're stuck with it. Possibly for a long time.
Battleship Trump
And finally, the other prize that Trump still craves is, what else, the Nobel Peace Prize. Which is ironic considering how many wars he is toying with. "We are ending the era of endless wars," Trump said at the 2020 commencement address at West Point Military Academy.
Let's review the self-proclaimed 'Peace President' war ending activities.
• So far in 2025 there have been well over 500 U.S. bombings around the globe.
• He seems poised to invade Venezuela after already sinking several power boats off its coast.
• On Christmas Day, he launched airstrikes on what he called ISIS "terrorist scum" that he claimed had been attacking Christians in Nigeria.
• Just a few days earlier, Trump had authorized multiple strikes on Islamic State operatives in Syria — military action in retaliation for an ambush attack that killed two U.S. troops and an American civilian interpreter.
• In November, American forces bombed ISIS targets in Somalia.
• Recall that in June, he ordered the strike on Iran to neutralize its nuclear weapons program, the effectiveness of which is still being debated.
Most fun of all, and certainly the most Trumpian, is his plan for a new "Trump Class battleship." (No, seriously.)
Naval experts, former military officers who are free to speak, and virtually anyone who is a student of modern warfare declared the "battleship" obsolete decades ago. Why? Because they have all become big ole targets for enemy forces or random terrorists. Just a look at the Ukraine war shows Russia losing dozens of warships, small and large, to inexpensive drones. If needed, more expensive missiles, some that fly at hypersonic speed, can be launched from hundreds of miles away. For a large, slow ship to stay afloat, it must be loaded up with millions of dollars of complex defensive technology. And generally speaking, they're not needed for attack operations. Smaller, faster ships that are built for specific operations are more useful. It's not a very smart move to put all your war eggs in one floating basket. You become the hunted, and not the hunter. And the hunters just need a couple $1000 drones that can carry a bomb or torpedo. And there are a lot of countries around the world that would be happy to shoot at that decal on the back.
The Trump class battleships are "scheduled" to be built starting in 2030. While Trump may force some kind of rushed schedule, US shipbuilding is currently at a crawl, and with technology in a constant state of flux, they may take years to build (IF they ever complete a design.)
In other words, don't count on seeing the above-pictured Trump logo floating anytime soon.
But you might enjoy some freelance renderings of the potential TrumpTub:
Lou Gehrig was "The Pride of the Yankees," He was also known as "The Iron Horse" for his humility, his hard-hitting success in baseball, and his love/dedication to the game. He is also remembered for the awful disease that took his name and his life.
President Trump is the pride of no one. He is known for his hubris, his grift, his failures, and his complete selfishness to the exclusion of the good of his country. He will be remembered for the derangement that took over his life and name.