Are You Ready to Rumble?
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
This "Trump 80th Birthday Celebration" was it...
• A homoerotic exhibition of oiled-up, mostly naked, muscled 'warriors' duking it out on the White House lawn to the shivering delight of the likes of Pete Hegeseth, Steven Miller, and RFK, Jr. in a celebration of Closet Pride Month? All while Trump was dancing his double-jerk dance to the strains of YMCA? Could you hear Lyndsey 'Aunt Pitty Pat' Graham's squeals all the way to the Washington Monument?
• Or was it the most high-brow low-brow white-trash carnival to ever come to the big city? Complete with wrastlin', moto-cross, a truck-pull (probably), destruction derby (figurative) and JD Vance's Hillbillies come-to-town for a celebratory J6 reunion? Featuring whatever music acts didn't bail out after they realized what they had signed up for? Or as the always clever Jim Wright of Stonekettle aptly referred to it, was it the "Lee Greenwooding of America"?
• Was it simply more panem et circenses (bread and circuses) presented by Emperor Trump, tossing gladiators into a massive 21st-century Coliseum, temporarily erected on the lawn to distract the masses from inflation, unemployment worries, an unforced and unfunded Middle Eastern War (which is resulting in higher fuel prices,) and of course, the still unrevealed Epstein Files?
Were you not entertained?
The arena is the "Octagon" where the fighters will be engaged in 'cage matches.' The Octagon is placed under "The Claw," a monster 600-ton, 154ft-tall steel structure. Curved truss loaded with lighting and painted and bannered in red, white, and blue. The stuff Lee Greenwood dreams of at night.
Trump loves it so much that he noted that the Eiffel Tower, which was originally built as the centerpiece of the 1889 World's Fair in Paris, was meant to be taken down after 20 years. Trump called the purpose-built arena "quite attractive to a lot of people" and mused, "maybe we'll never, ever take it down."
Mary Whitfill Roeloffs, Forbes Staff
Lovely.
The price tag was originally north of $60M, but one of Trump's donors, Dana White, is the CEO of U.F.C., a subsidiary of TKO Group Holdings. Recognizing the publicity value, they promise to cover the $60M for the event. White has described Sunday’s event as designed “to tell the story of America”. (Uh, sure, pal.)
You will NOT be surprised to hear that Trump and Co. are investors in TKO Group. No word how much of that 60 Large covers the military flyovers, extra White House Staff, etc. It certainly did NOT cover the tremendous security expenses for the event. Consider that the other White House boondoggle, the Biggest, Bestest, Greatest, most Luxuriating Ballroom is being built (and is wildly overbudget) not just because there is allegedly such a great need for it, but because the security features needed to keep the president safe indoors. And it is lost on no one that the president is outdoors, on the South Lawn, out in the open, watching this sweaty melee.
Advertisers seem to include crypto companies, AI ventures, Meta, Polymarket, Starlink (a Musk company), and BudLight, to name a few (didn't MAGA used to hate BudLight? Or was there a sufficient tribute paid to get back in Caesar's good graces?)
Under the Claw, around the Octogon, there were about 4300 seats. A couple thousand of those went to Trump and the event organizers. Most were distributed to VIPs and friends/family and influencers. VIP packages were going for $1.5M. Such a deal! The rest were given out to members of the military, but no fatties! Hegeseth only wanted the fittest members allowed to be seen with the semi-nekkid wrestlers. The public entered a lottery in an effort to win tickets to watch the event on big screens around the Elipse. You remember the Elipse, right? Where the Jan 6 rioters assembled and were encouraged to "Fight like hell" to retake the country. No irony there.
Like all things MAGA, the event was awash in testosterone. Ground Zero for the manosphere. There was flag waving, flag wearing, USA hats, MAGA hats, topless (male) audience members, Joe Rogan in center ring, winners shaking Emperor Don's hand at ringside... so much manliness that it's hard.
To take in, I mean.
The UFC event on Sunday night was supposedly in celebration of Trump's 80th birthday. As always, the emperor summoned military honors, a flyover, military bands, honor guards, and all manner of official government resources. Resources that were mobilized in his own honor. It was all marketed under the banner of the "Freedom 250" celebrations. That is, a celebration of the nation's 250th birthday or “semiquincentennial”.
The problem was (or for Trump and his grifters) the opportunity was that there were two different organizations planning celebrations and events to commemorate the 250th. Freedom 250 is a White House Task Force. It is a public-private partnership within the National Parks Foundation, the charitable arm of the National Park Service. America 250 is a bipartisan Congressional organisation created in 2016 by the US Congress. Its mission is to “plan and orchestrate the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence”. It was to be led by private citizens. Most reports suggest that the two organizations get along, with little overlap. Notably, Trump has a lot more influence over the White House group. And here's the kicker: The UFC Freedom 250 basically hijacked the brand, and did not fall under either group. Since it was created as a Trump birthday grift for himself, the name and purpose became convoluted. That's when and why artists that were booked to play it or other Freedom 250 events started to pull out, preferring not to kiss the ring or have their own brand sullied.
Pity.
Fear not: His majesty wasted no time in denouncing those groups as no-talent singers that "put you to sleep" and instead promised a big rally instead, with hisownself as the featured speaker! and... you guessed it! Lee Greenwood! Sing it one more time, Lee!!! Hopefully, the Eiffel Claw will still stand, along with a few Bud Light and funnel cake kiosks. Let's get something on a stick, kids!
If there is one testosterone-dripping theme from every punch thrown... inside and outside the Octagon, it's that the "gladiator" rap is not an exaggeration. Like a Caesar, Trump sat ringside, and the winners sought his approval after their wins. The fights are brutal, violent, bloody, absolutely no holds barred... it has come to represent everything in the MAGA universe, and by association, America. The constant jingoism. The phony patriotic flag-waving. The violence. The billionaire's easy access, while the masses might get lucky to find a seat in steerage.
And maybe worst of all, the ever-present faux Christianity. At the end of one fight, the barefoot, bloody, bruised, and sweaty fighter, Josh Hokit, thanked Trump for hosting the event, praised Jesus Christ as "the only person more incredible than the Incredible Hok," and then faced the crowd to rhetorically ask, "Michelle Obama is a man, am I right, America?"
Christian. Patriot. Family values. Devout follower of Trump. The emperor approved.
It's a sickness that we seem unable to overcome.
Still, Trump's core supporters, the manly men, the incels, the imbeciles, especially young men who once saw him as someone that they could trust to give them their rightful place in society, are becoming disillusioned. According to polls, 10% of those guys have fallen away from Trump. Also turning away – an even larger group of young men - college grads and moderates who are facing insurmountable student debt, inflation, few housing prospects, an unsteady job market, and a confusing dating landscape - who also bought into Trump's promises to restore masculine roles in society, or at least give Trump a shot to restore what their fathers and grandfathers achieved. Against current 'thinking', many of these young men would love to start a family, even have kids.
And the big rumble on the lawn may not have given him the boost that he wanted:
According to CNN polling, three out of five Americans view the White House as out of touch with the country, while only 16 percent of those polled found a UFC event being held at the White House to be appropriate, with 31 percent of Republicans approving.
That's the good news... the bad news is that the Democrats confess that they have not figured out a message (or solution) to this dilemma. With the economy Trumpified, it may be years to turn around, even if Democrats had a way to take and hold office against the juggernaut of the MAGA political/communication machine.
Sidenote: Remember how the right-wing MAGA sphere had a stroke when Obama wore a tan suit in the White House? Or when he saluted a Marine with a cup of coffee in his hand? They called it unpresidential! Shocking! Scandalous! And then the MarALago hillbillies rolled into town.
Gonna tell you all a story 'bout a man named Trump...
Panem et circenses. Bread and circuses. Enjoy it. While the America that they wave flags for slowly is handed over, dollar for dollar, to the billionaire class. No solution for the education crisis, no new rural hospitals - or an equitable health care system of any kind, a housing crisis that is becoming as dire for the middle class as it is for the poor and homeless, climate change that is affecting all parts of the country and world, and an economy battered by inflation, ridiculous tariffs, and fuel prices sent soaring by an unforced war in the Middle East.
And the kids all know their options are becoming more and more limited.
Prepare to jump into the ring, boys. No holds barred.